sleepless

I have always lead sleepless nights. Relished in its stillness. Its beauty, the beauty of shapes and sounds that come to fore that are hidden at other times. The still coolness, so unassuming and comforting. The smell of wet leaves and dew damp soil.
Where the individual becomes so prominent. The lone leaf waving to you, comrade in the dark rhythm of night.
But these days these sleepless nights are finding a shape in loneliness. Maybe I have always been lonely. It might be so, that I never had the courage to confront it. Weird thought, isn't it? My own emotions alien to me. Turning human, slowly. I don't know if its an ascent or a descent.